loss of hope [ben]

[rowena anemone lovegood]

Rowena was captured in the beginning of Feburary, on a Hogsmeade trip when she decided to stay back a little longer to hunt nargles by a Death Eater. Though she wasn't able to count the days, she knew her time spent in captivity was long and at the very least, it was the end of the month of Feburary. She had no idea where she was, but she knew why she was where ever she was located. Her father did something he didn't mean (or if he did, she doubt it made much of a difference) and she became a bargaining tool for the Death Eaters. But she didn't have any idea if her father was actually obeying their terms. Seeing as she was still alive and minimally tortured, she guessed he was, or acting neutral at the very least.

Her first few days where horrible while she was captured. Sure, they fixed her arm, relocating it, but they didn't bother to do too much to her leg besides straightening it and making sure it didn't become infected. It used to be unimaginable pain to walk with it, but it healed somewhat during her time here. She doubted she would come out of this as she came in. A crippled leg was possible, and she hoped she wouldn't have any more physical problems beyond that, later.

She stayed in a damp, cramped cell which contained a rough bed, a thin blanket and a small bathroom. There wasn't much room to walk around in, but it wasn't like she walked often with her broken leg. She only got up to grab the food they gave her once a day. The Death Eaters here were cold, as she expected. Sometimes, a few would come down and use an Unforgiveable Curse on her, just for the fun of it. She tried to look like she didn't care what they did to her, but one, a woman named Belatrix Lestrange, sometimes just liked to come down and torture her a bit. The Crucartis curse, or maybe the woman would set her hands on fire or whatever she felt like for the day. As strange as it sounded, the tortures seemed to be the only thing that passed the time. It was the only thing that was different every day. Though she did dread it, it was valuable. She tried to calculate it with what time of day it was, or what day of the week, using conversations and routines that she observed.

Something strange happened, though, when she arrived. You-Know-Who himself offered to have someone heal, release and help her if she joined him. Strange, right? You wouldn't expect the man himself to try and offer you a deal. When she refused (well, she simply ignored him, not saying anything) he left. But he didn't leave her alone. In her sleep, sometimes, she would have horrible nightmares or visions. He messed with her head often, but she was strong and battled through, though each day left her feeling more and more helpless and without hope for rescue. Was someone going to save her? When? Maybe she was going to die before they even got to her simply because the Death Eaters no longer needed her and disposed of her.

She laid on her bed, snuggled up with the thin blanket, rubbing her leg. It healed mostly by itself, but she doubted it was in a good way. It didn't feel broken any more, but she felt like it was now crippled seeing as she limped as she walked, even for a few steps. She heard the familiar sound of the tray of food being slid into her cell and she stood up, limping over to the food. What was it today? Smelled like a raw potato and some type of chili. "Thank you," she said, knowing she wasn't going to get an answer. It just felt nice to actually talk to someone and not just her imagination, even though both never responded. When was she going to get out of here?

[benjamin andrew wilkes]

Benjamin had been freaking out for a few weeks now. Rowena was missing and there was a sense of panic that was floating around the castle. It was whispered in hushed tones and not everyone seemed to know a student was gone. The professors had gone to great lengths to both heighten security without causing attention to it and they also went to great lengths to avoid the rumours being spread. They seemed to be doing a decent job, since the younger grades were going about as normal. It were the Ravenclaws that were the most worried, which was quite obvious since Rowena was a Ravenclaw; they would note her absence the most quickly. Her dorm mates were starting to act weird. Even though Ben knew that a lot of people didn’t quite understand Rowena, it seemed that they had some care in their hearts for the young girl, taken by Death Eaters.

Benjamin, out of everyone in the castle, was the most terrified. He felt that was fair. She was his girlfriend after all; he thought he had a right to be completely panicked. He wasn’t able to focus on school work, he couldn’t remember the last time he did one of his assignments, and he spent most of his time pestering professors about news on Rowena and spent a grand amount of time devising a way to sneak out of the castle and go search for her himself. However, finally at a certain point, one of the professors pulled out the brightest Ravenclaws and the bravest Gryffindors and announced that they had made a plan. Not a single person was under sixth year and they all had the option to get out of it. It was rare that the professors would put the students in the line of danger, but the thing with students was that the Death Eaters wouldn’t be expecting them. They’d know how the professors acted, they would have studied their most likely moves and spells, and would overpower them easily. But with the mix between experienced witches and wizards, and eager, agile, energetic students, they would be able to either sneak past the Death Eaters, or confuse them so much that there would be too much chaos to focus on disarming the good guys.

As it turned out, the professors had done a lot more digging than Benjamin had been able to do with his limited resources as a student. They had narrowed down the location and the plan, and now all they had to do was carry it out. It took quite some time for them to set up properly, for all the proper spells to be in place, and to make sure everyone knew their task. No one knew exactly what room Rowena was being kept in so they couldn’t just go in and blow the whole place up without risking hurting her. Ben was sent in the back with some new professor who talked an awful lot to keep the mission secret. They slipped in easily with the help of a cover spell and after a brief encounter with a Death Eater they’d managed to silently knock unconscious, they split up and Ben took one stairwell down and the professor took the other. He lithely moved along the hallway in the dark, knowing full well that the second he illuminated his wand tip, he had the potential of being in trouble. He heard a soft voice that he instantly recognised as Rowena and had to stop himself from calling out her name. He waited for the person who delivered her food to walk past him, unaware, and ascend the stairwell. Once the brute was gone, Ben felt against the wall until he reached a door. The spell was rather simple to open the door-- he supposed they didn’t expect anyone to make it past them-- and he only dared to light his wand when the door was firmly closed behind him. ”Rowena,” he breathed out a sigh of relief to see that she was still alive. He closed the small space between them and caught her up in a gentle hug, aware that she was probably sore-- what Death Eater kept someone in captive and DIDN’t torture them? He placed featherlight kisses on her cheeks, her eyelids, her forehead, and finally her lips. ”God, I’ve been so worried. I’m been so terrified for you, love, I’m missed you so much,” he said, barely able to think. ”Are you hurt? Are you able to walk?”

words: 759 - tagged: rowena - notes: nom nom nom

[rowena anemone lovegood]

Rowena sat on her bed, poking at her food. It was never appetizing, but she needed the calories more than ever. She knew she lost weight, not by weighing herself, but she just felt so much lighter. Maybe she could kill herself in here, just stop eating altogether. It would stop her father from doing anything that they wanted and she wouldn't have to deal with the tortures they dished out to her daily. No, she couldn't do that. Not only would the Death Eaters never bother to tell her family she was dead and continue to have them do their dirty work, but when she finally should have been released, she wouldn't be alive any more. She had to stay alive for her family, for her friends, and most importantly, Ben.

She scooped up a bit of her food and began to eat it. Well, she started to eat it when another figure stood outside her cell. This was odd. Usually, no one came down for a while after a meal was served. Though it was dark, once the person opened her cage, she knew that it couldn't be her captors. A rescue! A rescue! She couldn't believe it. It just seemed so unreal at this point. Even when she heard her name with the sound of Ben's voice, she couldn't believe it. Maybe she was hallucinating again, or that the person on the other side of the gate was using this as some form of torture, to make her crave for home again. A mental torture. Interesting. She might as well humor her torture-er.

She accepted Ben's kisses. They felt so real for a hallucination, but there was no way that her boyfriend could actually be here for two reasons. One, he was a student. Unless she had been here until the summer, there was no possible way Hogwarts would even let him leave the school grounds, much less be able to find the Death Eaters hide out. Two, how could he have passed the guards? They were Death Eaters. They weren't just called that because they liked to talk to snakes and sit around about how to kill muggles. Unless he had a crew of people helping him out along the way, there was no logical explanation for why Ben could have found her. And who wanted to find her? She was the school's play toy. The only people that might come for her rescue could be Sirius, Ben, Tyler, Xeno and Severus.

The hallucination began to talk some more after the kisses. It really did sound like something Ben would say. "Um...yeah. I...my leg, it was broken and they didn't heal it with magic so it's been healing by itself," she told him. If her torture-er was listening, maybe they'd send someone down to heal it? Unlikely, but it was worth a shot. "It's hard to walk on," she said, placing her food to the side and pulling up her pants leg. There, you could see a bit of swelling and her skin was bruised and purple. "I also have some minor burns and cuts, but those I can deal with," she told him, her voice softer. Some liked to use to Cruciartis curse, but other preferred to do somethings on their own. Those were easier to heal, though.

On the off chance it actually was Ben, she should try and escape. But if it wasn't, she would just be entertaining whomever was watching. She decided to pretend that the Ben in front of her was real. When was the last time someone actually talked back to her? "They took my wand, Ben. They have my wand," she told him, tearing up. Sure, it was just her wand, but she had that want with her all of her life. She didn't really want to leave it behind.

[benjamin andrew wilkes]

There was a part of him that worried they weren’t going to be able to get Rowena back. Of course, he knew that was insane because he was surrounded by a brilliant group of witches and wizards, but they were facing people who knew no boundaries. What if they did something to her? What if they completely destroyed her memory or her sanity or worse, what if they killed her? He didn’t know what he’d do. She was his best friend, she was his girlfriend, and he certainly didn’t trust anyone as much as he trusted the young blonde. The idea of her being gone from his life just made him want to hurl.

And because of that, he refused to believe that anything but goodness could come from this rescue mission. And when he finally saw her innocent face, he knew that everything was going to be alright. He was going to get his Rowena back, he’d get her back to the castle, and they’d make sure she was alright. Relief flooded in his chest as he felt her soft skin. She was there. She was there and she was whole and she was alive. He looked down at her leg and frowned. ”I don’t know any spells to make it better, I’m afraid, but we’ll get you to the hospital wing as soon as we get out of here, I promise,” he said. And Benjamin fully intended on keeping that promise. ”Just put most of your weight on my when you walk, okay? It won’t hurt so bad if you use me like a crutch.”

Benjamin frowned deeper. Just why would they take Rowena and hurt her so badly? It didn’t make sense to Ben. Surely there were other students that made more sense to kidnap? Rowena was sweet and innocent. Or perhaps that was exactly WHY they wanted her in the first place. They knew that if they picked someone completely innocent, people would go to great lengths to rescue her, and the Death Eaters could just knock them all down along the way. But Ben was certain that wasn’t going to happen, not on his watch.

”We’ll get it, don’t worry,” he reassured her and kissed her gently once more. ”Now, we’re going to have to be very very quiet. They have the hearing of bats, I swear.” He slipped his arm around her waist so that he could take the majority of her weight as they moved and she wouldn’t have to walk on her broken leg. ”I’m not the only one here. There are others placed in various locations. If something happens to me, I want you to get out of here, alright? Do not, under any circumstance, stay to try and save me. Even if your leg is positively killing you to move, I want you to get out of here as quickly as possible. Understood?” he asked. Ben was not taking no for an answer today.

words: 504 - tagged: rowena - notes: nom nom nom

[rowena anemone lovegood]

Rowena nodded, feeling safe knowing she'll be going back to school soon, much less the infirmary. This place was a prison, a jail, and almost comparable to hell, in her own opinion. This place took every last one of your hopes and crushed them like a bug. Being in Ben's care made her feel safe, despite the dangers she knew lurked around every corner of this place. Guards, everywhere. House elves, ordered to tell their masters everything they see. But if it wasn't just Ben, it was quite possible that those traps could be gone, that everyone here was directed to fight the incoming rescuers. She spent one moment listening carefully. It didn't sound like anything had started, yet, but she didn't want to wait for it to.

"O-okay," she said, when he told her to use him as a crutch. It was better than using a wall to get her from place to place, but using Ben as a crutch still meant she was going to have to work on it. It would have to do. Ha. Maybe this all wasn't a hallucination. Maybe it really was real. She tested her theory by putting her weight on him, and when she didn't fall on to the ground, she decided to ignore her mind, which told her this all could not be real. Wow...people really did come to save her. Well, she guessed the school didn't want other children being pulled out because of her, though she knew that the school security would be bumped up a bit, at the least.

"Huh? But.." she began, when Ben started talking to her, telling her what to do if anything bad happened. Leave him here? But this place was horrible. They wanted her for some kind of random. But Ben...they would just kill him! "Okay... I will. I agree," she decided, after several moments of thought, giving him a strong look, hoping he'd believe her. He was already risking himself being here, she could at least give him this: her safety. "Alright, this way," she said, trying not to add the words "I think" to the end of it. She didn't want to put any doubt in to his heart. She limped, leaning on Ben, leading him to a different set of stairs. She tried to remember the first day she was here, watching Crispin walk off with her wand in his hand, listening to the foot steps above, wondering where he wand would end up.

Up the stairs they went, her leg screaming in pain, but she kept going. She tried to imagine the steps she heard that night, so long ago, where they went, who they were. It wasn't clear, but she was pretty good at divination; she knew how to read things. "Over there," she directed Ben towards a dining room. It looked empty, for all she could tell. And right to the left, on a cabinet, she saw her wand. Forgetting everything, she ran towards her wand. Yes, seeing Ben was a comfort, but her wand was her sense of reality. Not that she was trying to be mean to her memory of Ben, but even before she had Ben, she had her wand. She grabbed it, feeling that magical sense flowing through her, like when she first waved it in Ollivander's shop. However, her rush stopped and she could feel her leg again and she crumpled to the floor. Last time she tried doing that. She used the wall to push herself back up, looking over at Ben, giving him that look that said "help, please?" when she saw something.

She saw a woman on the other side of the room, hidden by one of the other cabinets. "Ben! No!" she said, waving her hands. The woman already had her wand out, pointing it at Rowena, her mouth open and wording some spell. She promised Ben she would leave him if something happened, to run. Could she still keep the promise? It was worth a try. She tried to jump up as fast as she could and run towards Ben, to sprint. Then the spell hit her, skimming her and she fell. It felt warm and tingly, running up her spine. Before she knew it, she was out, dreaming about pudding.

[benjamin andrew wilkes]

Benjamin hated that Rowena had been the one that was taken. Why did it have to be her? Why couldn’t it have been someone he didn’t care so much about? Not that he wanted other people to have to go through something like this, but he certainly didn’t want Ro to have to deal with it. The fact that he’d barely slept a wink in the past few weeks was enough to set him off the brink of insanity. What if they had never found her? There would be an empty part of him for the rest of his life.

--not done, falling asleep D: